


God Only Knows

by orphan_account



Category: Suite Life on Deck, Wizards of Waverly Place
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, POV Outsider, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 20:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19117525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Zack Martin finds the love of his life in one Alex Russo. Too bad she already has a boyfriend.Loosely based on the WOWP & Suite Life crossover episodes.





	God Only Knows

Zack walks into Cody's room, a little dazed, with a stupid grin adorning his lips. His brother is sitting on his bed, cleaning his freaking shoes, and like, who does that, but it's not important now, because-

"I met the woman of my dreams."

Cody looks up at that, utterly unamused and promptly goes back to his cleaning. "Don't you find her ever other week or so?"

He generously lets it slide, because his brother is so naive and will probably die alone and goes on like Cody didn't say anything.

"She is a pranker, dude. And hot, too."

This finally seems to earn Cody's undivided attention as she finally puts down his damn shoes that were like, already clean when he started cleaning them.

"Wow, you are serious."

"When am I not? Jesus, it was just a _joke_ , Codes, you don't have to look at me like that."

"So, what's her name?"

"I have no idea. I just stalked her from across the deck the whole day."

Cody rolls his eyes and throws a shoe at him.

* * *

Zack replaces Cody's shampoo with glue, because one, he was an asshole about his future wife and two, it's the funniest thing ever.

The bonus is that it captures the attention of hot brunette, too, and Zack uses the opportunity to introduce himself.

Mystery girl reaches a hand and almost touches him, her name on the tip of her tongue, when a random guy, coming out of absolutely nowhere, grabs her arm and drags her a few feets away. Zack notes that the asshole doesn't take his hand away off her immediately, just like he notes that he is taller than him and also (he grits his teeth) objectively muscular and handsome. Asshole™ leans into possiblytakengirl's space and to Zack's utter disappointment, she doesn't seem to mind one bit. She pouts at him and smirks at him and Zack knows what that means in Girl language. 

Maybe the guy sensed his staring or something because he sharply turns his head and his narrowed eyes zero on Zack and he kinda seizes him up. Zack stubbornly glares back but their mental dick comparing match ends when the literal love of Zack's (and apparently talldarkhandsome's too) takes the latter's hand and pulls him away without a second glance in Zack's direction. Yeah, it hurts, just a bit. 

* * *

The evening finds him in Cody's room again, who is now – for a change – studying at his desk. His twin somehow senses his mood and closes his book before the door even shuts before Zack.

"The girl?"

"The girl. And his boyfriend, apparently."

Cody walks over to him and pats his shoulder just a little awkwardly and Zack feels a sudden surge of affection for his little brother. He is this close to hug him when he hears his next words, so unlike him.

"Wanna prank him?" 

* * *

Of course he wanted to prank him. He is perfectly capable of planning a spectacular prank on his own, thank you very much, but he finds Cody's geekness come in handy in this case. They put blue magic paint in the pool water after they are sure only their target is about to enter it (Zack is in a better mood, so he only smacks Cody in the shoulder lightly after he comments on how he now understands why Zack is so upset about the boyfriend) and then they wait. 

It is absolutely hilarious, and the look on the guy's face is worth it even when they see the look on Moseby's. He accuses Zack of being a culprit immediately, because- yeah, he can't really blame him but Blueberry guy has other ideas.

"It was Alex, sir, I am sure. She is an evil genius." Zack rolls his eyes, because ughh, the guy sounds absolutely whipped and wow, he just found out her name. Alex. It sounds badass.

Moseby disagrees, talking about Zack and blablabla, he mostly shuts his voice out, but then, then-

The Girl, Alex, he reminds himself, comes up to his boyfriend and promptly dies laughing, making Zack immensely proud of himself. She's pretty, Cody whispers to him, and Zack rolls his eyes again, 'cause  _ duh. _

The guy – Justin, Moseby called him – grabs her arm again, and why does he keep doing that, seriously? His knuckles are white and it looks like it hurts a little but Alex doesn't even blink.

"You did it."

"No, but I'm truly sorry I didn't think of it." 

"Mr. Moseby, don't listen to her, she has been pulling pranks on me since she was four." Four? Are they like, childhood friends? How cliche is that, like for real?

"Mr. Moseby" Alex chimes in and her voice is definitely mocking, "please don't listen to him, I am completely innocent. This time. My dear brother is just unable to accept that he isn't right for a change." Yeah, that sounds like him al- What?! Brother? Cody starts laughing next to him like a madman and Zack cannot believe his own stupidity. He smack himself in the face, hard and heads back to his room, a cackling Cody following on his heel.

* * *

 

"Look on the bright side, now you can ask her out for real."

"Yeah, I will do that as soon as I stop cringing at myself. How could I think they were together? As if I never seen siblings before."

"I don't know, man, they are not like you and me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I only saw them interacting for a few minutes, but I totally bought that they are a couple. I mean, they seem close. Not like you and I close, I don't know… there's something different about them." 

"Are you saying that they are-"

"No, I didn't mean it like that. Okay, maybe I did. Normal siblings don't look at each other like… like  _ that _ ."

"Isn't that totally illegal?"

"It is, actually, but it's not like we are about to report them for something we have no evidence of. I think we should just leave this whole thing alone."

"... I guess."

* * *

 

Unsurprisingly, Zack cannot leave it at just that. He is morbidly fascinated by the prospect and he can't help but ponder over how is it possible to love your sibling like that. He thinks that if anyone knows about love between siblings, it's him. Cody and him are identical twins, literal other halves of each other and Zack is ready to admit (not to Cody, of course and not out loud) that his brother is the most important person in his life. But the thought of loving Cody with a romantic, wanna take off your clothes kind of way just leaves him feeling uneasy and weirded out. How comes Alex and Justin apparently don't feel like that about each other? 

He cannot sleep, confusing thoughts keeping him wide awake, so he goes to the deck to breathe a little fresh air and look at the stars or something. He contemplates going to Cody, but he vaguely recalls him saying he has an important test tomorrow and he kinda doesn't want to disrupt him in his sleep. 

In a cruel twist of fate, the very subjects of his thoughts are currently lying on the placed out sun lounger, quietly talking to each other. Zack inches closer until he can hear their conversation but is safely out of their sight.

"...you can't deny it."

"I bet you wouldn't find it so funny if you were the blue one."

"It kinda looks good on you, though. Highlights your eyes."

"I still can't believe it wasn't you."

"Justin, I wouldn't know how to do this sciency thing. I sent Harper to my classes, remember?"

They stay silent after that, which must be comfortable for them but is increasjngly uncomfortable for him. 

"...I saw you with that guy, earlier." Justin breaks the silence tentatively, his words rushed and almost inaudible. 

"What guy?" And yeah, it still stings, because Zack is positive Justin is talking about him. 

"The one with the twin, who supposedly pulled the prank on me."

"Oh, Zayn, yeah. Wait, no, it was Zeke. No, Zack, I'm pretty sure about it. Yeah, I tried to talk to him before you came and dragged me away from him. Rude, by the way." 

"It sort of makes sense, now. He looked at me in a weird way, I think he was jealous."

Alex snorts, not very attractively, and Zack winces on his behalf. Poor guy. 

"Jealous, of you? What for?"

"For touching you, I guess. Having your attention." Bingo. The guy sounds like a smartass exactly like Cody. 

"Oh."

"Yeah."

The silence is significantly less comfortable now and Zack senses shit's about to go down. 

"But you're my brother." 

"We don't really look alike, you know that, Alex. I think he just assumed we are together."

"Yeah, like I would ever go out with a dork like you." She is lying, it's painfully obvious, but maybe Justin doesn't actually know her that well. 

"Yeah, like you ever would." 

"Justin." Her voice is pleading now, and Zack is not sure he wants to know the rest, but he is rooted to his spot. 

"I know, Alex. Just don't say anything."

"I want to." Three words Zack is sure just absolutely wrecked Justin.  

"I know. Me too." 

Even Zack could hear the pain in their voices and it's suffocating but still, they stay in their respective scapes, close, but never touching. It is really sad, something Cody would weep at if he were here, and Zack really wishes he was here to get emotional instead of him, because he is sure as hell not supposed to get this affected by an incestous love story starring the girl he was pining for only a few hours earlier. He kinda gets it, now, he thinks, standing up and walking quietly back to his room, leaving the two of them in deafening silence.   

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! Please give me kudos or a comment if you liked the story, it means a lot to me.
> 
> I changed the title, new one is borrowed from "the greatest love ballad of all time", God only knows by The Beach Boys.


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